worst. news. ever.

I still don't know precisely what's going on with my shoulder, but I still got the worst possible news at the ortho today:

high-tech coffin

1 comment

That's right... they're putting me in the bright shiny coffin. 

Understand that getting an MRI is the most terrifying of prospects for me, on the order of 3x if x = flying cross-country in a thunderstorm without Xanax.  I get completely freaked out in small enclosed spaces, most especially if my arms are pinned at my side.  It's so bad that I sometimes can't even make it under the bed if something has nudged its way too far out of reach.

I found myself thinking highly irrational things, like:

• Why couldn't it have been my knee, so that way I wouldn't have to go into the thing head-first?
• Why couldn't I have just broken my shoulder, so that way I'd only need an x-ray?
• Maybe if I remind them that my sport is soccer, they'll decide that my shoulder isn't important enough to warrant an MRI?
  

So, the scoop is that I did indeed dislocate my shoulder.  While it's great that it popped back in on its own, there will still be some amount of damage to the surrounding ligaments.  The best case scenario is that I've just stretched them out, which means I'll need physical therapy and will have to go 4 to 6 weeks without soccer.  The worst case scenario is that I've detached or severely torn one or more of the ligaments, which means arthroscopic surgery and 6 to 12 weeks off the field.  Note that even the best case scenario is awful, however, since I need to spend 15-30 minutes in the bright shiny coffin before I get the prognosis.  And (of course) being unable to play soccer for any number of weeks is no fun at all. 

awooooooooooooooooooooooo!

There is, however, one small scrap of silver lining in this dark and stormy cloud:  I get drugs!  They'll be giving me Ativan, which is basically a short-term tranquilizer.  Wheeeeeeee, drugs!